Explosion rocks Port Harcourt

An explosion at the rumuokoro axis of Port Harcourt has claimed at least one life.

Explosive devices in a commercial bus went off killing the bus conductor instantly and leaving three others critically injured.

Clem Ofuokwu of Cool 95.9 FM reporting from the scene said members of the Rivers state anti bomb squad are already on the scene trying to determine if it was a bomb that went off or some kind of combustible material.

The Rivers State governor, Rotimi Chibuike Amaechi has already visited the scene of the explosion.

Meanwhile, Rivers State Police commissioner, Ndabawa Mohammed insists it was not a terrorist attack.

He put it on a four man armed robbery gang on their way to an operation.

Clem Ofuokwu told Wezinareports.blogspot.com that four rifles were recovered from the bus, lending credence to the police claims.

Ofuokwu also added that a real bomb may have taken off a large chunk of the surrounding area.

More reports to follow soon 

Pic by @iamjustdaminho

10 Questions for Igbo’s Seeking Ikwerre Citizenship & Acknowledgement

If you are Ikwerre, or know someone that is, then you must have heard this at one point or the other. "Ikwerres are Igbos!" You might have witnessed one argument or fight that stern from this seemingly innocent statement that rub us the wrong way. I narrowly avoided lynching one old woman in Abuja who had the effrontery to tell me I don't know anything about my roots... I promised myself that I would never argue about this topic with anyone else, but I could not resist my brother's recent post on the issue, I have taken the liberty to publish it here...

Chuks Eleonu wrote...........

It appears our Igbo friends and in-laws are doing everything in their capacity to acquire Ikwerre citizenship. After all, what else are they looking to gain in constantly raising an issue that begs for disagreement when the underlying issues are completely examined end-to-end? Let's pretend for a moment that the Ikwerre's consent to Igbo hegemony; then WHAT? What does it buy the Igbo’s that they do not already have or potentially could get?

 If 2 + 3 = 5, by mathematical and scientific deductions, then 3 + 2 must also = 5, right? In other words, if Ikwerre’s are Igbo's, then Igbo’s are Ikwerre’s, hence why the un-ending clamor for recognition and acceptance – right? Only those who flunked arithmetic would proceed to argue the contrary.

In fact, the very essences of the word “Ikwerre,” implicitly and explicitly embody the notion that I have to FIRST agree. I and my people DO NOT and NEVER WILL AGREE on a strategic deliberate attempt to foist falsehood upon an innocent society ...you can go and bring anyone with any titles pre-fixed or suffixed to their names, they will remain ignorant of the facts, until they stop the presuppositions and conjectures without in-depth empirical scholastic research that is objective in intent. We will always respect our Igbo friends and in-laws; but that cannot become synonymous to bowing to the flippant claims and ulterior-motives of the Igbo’s.

Another fact to consider is, when was the last time anyone saw titled Professors from Western or Northern Nigeria or even elsewhere around the world, listing the ethnicities of their surrounding neighbors as evidence of their scholastic aptitude? So, why would learned and intelligent Igbo’s continue to waste time in academic exercises, always asking the meaning of one's name or citing proximity of one’s village to their own boundaries? To me, I would like to respect those of us who have acquired university education, hoping of course, they can carry out and demonstrate beyond the shadow of doubt, basic empirical and sound scholastic research, beyond fanning the embers of discord inherited from their fore-parents and Nigeria's ethno-centric gridlock politics of Win/Lose.

Since our so called learned and intelligent friends like to insist that the British people should stop advancing the course of their nation until Americans begin to call themselves “British,” or the Jews should hold off fighting for their own survival until everyone else living in the “ghettos” of the world acknowledge them, let me pose the following then questions, all of which have the very same answer and GOES TO THE VERY HEART of the Ikwerre vs. Igbo debates:

1. Who was the very first person ever named Miss Nigeria, and why did she not become a Nigerian, post independence?

2. Who remembers those that played the roles of “courtima” (if you don’t know this term, you should probably never get involved in the Ikwerre-Igbo debates) and why did their Western & Northern Nigerian counterparts not pervert history and justice in their respective regions of Nigeria?

3. If Ikwerre’s were Igbo’s, why did part of the Biafra military strategy include the extermination and genocide of the Ikwerre’s? Please note that there were more saboteurs within and amongst ndi Igbo, than elsewhere in Nigeria – even till the present day.

4. If Igbo’s were so magnanimous to ameliorate their excesses in pre-historic Nigeria, dating back to the early stages of both the “white man’s & ottoman’s” slave trades, how come they are yet to resolve their osu caste system – even until the present day? Let’s go one step further to truly see how much they know of the Ikwerre, can our Igbo learned and intelligent friends account for the Igbo’s direct profiteering, racketeering, and shenanigans during the slave trade periods, as it pertains to its surrounding neighbors, including the Ikwerre's?

5. If Ikwerre’s were Igbo’s, why were they not consulted like the other Igbo clans on the eve of Ahiara War Declarations by Odumegwu Ojukwu? If our learned friends claim that Ikwerre’s were consulted, please provide name(s) of the Ikwerre representatives.

6. Why did southern Cameroon vote to not become part of Nigeria at independence – even though they knew their Hausa/Fulani dominated northern Cameroon were an evil empire? Really, you would rather associate with an evil empire than align with your next door neighbors – if we go by the theory of Igbo’s about the Ikwerre’s?

7. Speaking about Cameroonians, what was the real underlying issue about Bakassi and (like the Ikwerre’s), the peace loving peoples of Ambazonia? Why would they not want to become part of a vibrant and thriving nation like Nigeria – even till this day? What really happened?

8. Going further, who remembers pre-historic Nigeria and Cameroon showing Igbo influences stretching past the Calabar river banks, as Far East, as Mamfe and Bamenda in the Cameroons – why did it shrink back to the present day Igbo boundaries? Better yet, just like Cameroon dragged Nigeria to court over Bakassi, why have the Igbo’s not dragged their case to court, if they know the anthropological, sociological, and ethno-linguistic genesis of the Ikwerre’s?

9. The word “Biafra” is not an Igbo word – at least, am hoping they have not also started claiming it is – so, where/what is Biafra, from which the Gulf/Bight of Biafra was originally named on every world map prior to 1969? Hint: Ojukwu could not and did not coin the word !!! Since most Igbo’s immediately from birth, seem to know more about the history and origin of Ikwerre people, it is assumed this question is also a piece of cake for them

10. Last, but more importantly:

a. When were the original Ogbakor Ikwerre (excluding the ones in diaspora) and Ohaneze ndi Igbo organizations created?

b. If Ikwerre’s are seating on the high tables at Ohaneze ndi Igbo, how come the Igbo’s have never allowed these so called Ikwerre members of Ohaneze to speak by themselves to their own Ikwerre people and in a language the Ikwerre’s would understand – why are Igbo’s always the only ones doing the talking and claiming? Egyptians were not busy advertising Moses as justification for the Jews to remain in Egypt, considering the Jews never forgot their homelands, but may have adopted Egyptian and Roman names to survive the times; a good percentage of people from Sierra Leone in West Africa all have similar names and features like the Yoruba’s of Nigeria – one wonders why Nigeria’s Yoruba states are not wasting resources and time running around telling other Yoruba’s of West Africa they must claim Nigerian origin and ancestry; Native Americans of the present generation might have blue eyes, some blonde, and cannot speak a word of Apache, Cherokee, Hopi, Navajos (I know because I’ve lived among them), yet the Igbo’s would have you believe they are Igbo’s too, if given the chance; and, these same Igbo’s would be the first to tell you not to call them African Americans – since there are no Igbo racial categories in any American ethno-demographic profiles.

c. Is it true that because Igbo’s outnumber every other ethnic group by a margin of 10:1 in pre-war Sabon Gari district of Kano, therefore, everyone within that environment is Igbo – was that what Igbo’s were claiming to spark the pogroms that ignited the Biafra war? (see this citation). Is it also true that because Tiv’s in Nigeria speak Hausa and share common names and traditions, they are Hausa people? How about our friends in Ghana, is it true that because the word Twi is pronounced Chi, it has the same Igbo meaning, therefore, of Igbo origin?

d. Giving a speech recently, during a meeting of South East elders held in Owerri, Imo State, on March 5, 2010 the honorable Odumegwu Ojukwu, asked Igbo’s: “Howbeit, it is a well known fact that in every State in Nigeria outside Igbo land, Ndigbo always constitutes the second largest population next to the indigenous population” – why is that? How come no other ethnic population in Nigeria can come close to, much less boast of, being always the 2nd largest population outside of their own ethnic enclaves, wherever they go?

e. Has anyone heard of/about “Hausa Elele”? Yes, these are true Hausa’s from Elele, in Ikwerre Nigeria – are they Igbo’s too? Could it be that Ikwerre’s had learned their lesson with Igbo’s that they did not allow this strategic political expansion to continue with impunity? Perhaps, we would be arguing today of how Ikwerre’s are Hausa’s, if we had also kept silent in this regard.

f. For the longest time, even before the creation of Rivers State, who consistently prevented, and orchestrated the eccentricities that thwarted, the creation of Port Harcourt state, if Ikwerre’s were Igbo’s?

As I have indicated on past occasions, our Igbo friends and in-laws are restless, hardworking, resourceful, and have hegemonous tendencies. I have many Igbo friends and love them for what they bring to the table – provided it is not un-substantiated claims and frivolous arguments about Ikwerre people or the Rivers State. Our present generation of Igbo’s and Ikwerre’s would not be serving posterity right, if we don’t seriously focus on how to re-align development of the Nigerian ethos to leverage real talents and skill sets, irrespective of ethnicity. In other words, if the only time an Igbo is willing to dialogue and engage in nation building is when s/he can work side-by-side with only those who agree with him/her on ethnicity and speaks his/her dialect, then there should be no question as to why it will continue to take a very, very, very long time before the Igbo’s can produce another Nigerian President, post Azikiwe. You can quote me! I’m sure an Igbo would dare not say that, right?

Just like well read Nigerians will challenge the white-man’s perversion of African history (e.g., there are more people in Northern Nigeria than in the South – true or false?), I will continue to challenge anyone who thinks they can call Ikwerre’s anything other than Ikwerre. Only those who have ulterior motives continue to argue the Ikwerre-Igbo issue blindly, as if it all started yesterday or after the war. No, there are precedents and that have been set prior to the Biafran war, even before slavery and colonialism. Furthermore, my ignorant Ikwerre fore-fathers who could neither read, nor write, are not entirely blameless here! But to unilaterally assume that Ikwerre founding fathers were unable to transmit or hand-down history through generations of Ikwerre sons and daughters, is the height of arrogance, pride, and prejudice for anyone seeking to solve the puzzle that is Nigeria.

Notwithstanding, I have given you food-for-thought, some of which pre-dates Lord Luggard. But only a certain element would continue to arrogate themselves to a history and people that are not theirs to claim. For extra credit, here’s one last question: from whom did the Rivers State learn the concept of “abandoned property”? Perhaps, therein lies the real reason why Igbo’s never go after other parts of Rivers State and elsewhere in Nigeria where “Igbo” is actually spoken as a language and historically preserved, but would rather focus on poor Ikwerre people whose relationship with them have been anything, but. Yes, the Igbo religious missionaries arrived and said to the Ikwerre man “let us pray,” and when the Ikwerre’s opened their eyes, the Igbo’s had their lands, their local economies, and the Bible!!!

In closing, I have asked ten simple questions whose answers leads to the VERY CORE of the issue on the Ikwerre vs. Igbo dichotomy – especially for those of you who, without knowing the genesis, assume that the person called John from New York City is related to another John from Yorkshire, UK -- because some white-man's anthropological formulae said so; therefore, someone named Okala from Ikwerre must be related to the former Rangers Goalkeeper named Okala. Since we have a lot of anthropologists, sociologists, gerontologists, ethno-linguists, Engineers, Apostles, Chiefs, war Generals, including aimless key-punching cyber-pundits in the house, I am hoping that they will apply the same brevity, objectivity, and vocal variety in acknowledging the truths that constitute the collective answers to the above ten questions, so we ignorant folks from Ikwerre, who do not know our origins, ancestry, and history can also, learn. Better yet, perhaps our learned friends, who can only write about Rivers State local government areas or Ikwerre villages and names as the evidence of their scholastic aptitudes, now have a real homework to do, so we can finally attest to their empirical and journalistic research assessment methods.

For those who will try to guess the answer, without in-depth research, please pay attention to the common denominator in your findings, and report back, so inquiring minds would know. Very truly yours,

By:
Chuks D. Eleonu
Defender of Ikwerre civil rights and God-given civil liberties

 

Culled from www.tantiblo.blogspot.com 

Life as an April Fool kid

I do not know how many there are like me in my neck of the woods but I know it is interesting to be born on the 1^st of April, why?

I always loved the second look I got from people when I told them my birthday.

Then they believe I’m kidding and they ask again, “Is first of April really your birthday?”

When I nod, they shake their head, feeling sorry for me and saying, “No wonder you act the way you do?”

I wonder how many times I have been told that… maybe a million? Maybe more.

But is that why I’m writing this piece?

No! I’m writing this piece because I was really born on the 1^st day of April.

Or did my parents lie to me? Has it always been an April fool’s joke that stuck?

Now I don’t know anymore. Now I’m confused.

One man that refused to be fooled was my grandfather (God bless his soul), Cotton Acheru Amadi.

When he was told that his first son, Emmanuel Ndozi Acheru had given him his first grand son on that windy day, April 1, 1972 at the General Hospital in Port Harcourt he laughed it off as an April fool’s joke.

Legend has it that he refused to show up at the hospital.

Now my grandfather, born in 1913 was very educated… er well at least he had his Teachers Training Certificate and was a renowned teacher, head master and principal in his day.

He had heard about this trick of the white man and would let no one fool him.

Did he take it too far? Yes he did. Well, er, maybe he was just trying to be sure.

Legend again has it that when everyone around him continued to insist that there was indeed a baby born into the Acheru Amadi household he finally decided to visit the baby, two days later.

I grew up watching people play pranks on each other, and laughing when they tried them on me. If only they knew I owned the day.

I had in my day tried a few tricks on people; tricks that shocked the world; that’s what I was born to do, right?

On April 1, 2005, I announced on radio that the Confederation of African Football, CAF had disqualified Dolphins from that year’s edition of the CAF Champions League.

This announcement came just a few days after Dolphins had beaten Accra Hearts of Oak 4-1 in a 2^nd round 1^st leg match.

Their offence was using an ineligible player for the game.

I even used a sound clip of the then Nigeria Football Association, NFA Secretary General, Fanny Amun saying, “This is very unfortunate. I hope we will learn our lesson from this.”

Coach of Dolphins, then, Musa Abdulahi nearly got a heart attack as he listened to the news while driving.

The Rivers State sports commissioner then was almost in tears while fans all over the state were making frantic phone calls discussing the fate of their club.

I have played lots of other April fool tricks, some that had nearly put me in trouble and some I later regretted.

My ultimate April fool’s trick has always been to invite my friends over to a birthday party and they get to the address to find out its an uncompleted building with a banner hanging down the wall saying “Happy April fool’s day”

I still believe that will be done.

The next time you get a birthday invite from me just be careful and double check the address.

That’s the kick to fooling people this day.

Don’t just out of nowhere tell a person his house is on fire. Look for a situation that has actually affected him and play a trick from around that.

Like sending a broadcast on a day like this that Roberto Mancini has been sacked; or telling a Local Government chairman in Rivers State that he has just been impeached, you heard it on Wazobia news.

Try calling up the captain of Dolphins telling him to go see the accountant to pick up all match bonuses owed the team for his players.

Maybe, you tell the governor of Rivers State that one of the new bridges being constructed just collapsed, no one died though.

It really has always been fun doing this.

But it’s my birthday already, or is it really? Is it just a trick? The kind my grandfather refused to fall for? I guess you will never know and I will never know too.

Now calling my parents…

Another robbery in Port Harcourt... 4 killed

Port Harcourt was woken up again early on Monday morning as another robbery claimed four lives including a police officer.

A vehicle conveying cash was double crossed at Rumuola by two gun totting lads who shot to death all occupants of the car before carting away an undisclosed amount of money.

Eye witness reports suggest it happened around the College of Arts and Science when about 3 hoodlums firing sporadically into the air accosted a grayish Volkswagen Jetta car firing upon its passengers; a police man, a woman and the driver before making off with an undisclosed amount of money.

"There were three of them involved in the operation," the eye witness told wezinareports.blogspot.com under the condition of anonymity.

"Two men, one in front and another behind as well as a woman who remained in the car shooting in the air.

"I was upstairs in my friend's office and saw everything from where I was," he continued.

"As soon as they got there, one of them started shooting in the air for almost a minute and that caused pandemonium with drivers jumping out of their cars running for cover.

"That also meant that traffic was at a standstill and the car they were chasing had nowhere to go. It was at this point the opened fire on the car killing everyone in it.

"One of them now went in the car, grabbed the bag of money, dumped it in their own car and while they moved he stayed behind shooting in the air until the road was cleared before he jumped into the car and they sped off."
The victims of the attack are said to have died instantly while an unlucky bystander who got struck by a bullet had been rushed to the hospital.

People are of the opinion that this group may be the same that kept Port Harcourt under siege for most of October and November.

That group specialized in robbing banks and bullion vans but the Rivers State Police P.R.O, Ben Ugbuegbulam in a press briefing in November said they killed two members of that group in a shoot-out while the woman got away.

Swimming lights up the Adokiye Amiesimaka Stadium

The 9^th African junior swimming championships started on Thursday at the Adokiye Amiesimaka Stadium in the New Port Harcourt City.
 

Countries like South Africa, Botswana, Algeria, Egypt, Namibia, Senegal, Zimbabwe, Kenya, hosts Nigeria amongst others are already in Port Harcourt for the 4 day event

President of the Nigeria Swimming Federation, Olatokunbo Williams told Wezinareports.blogspot.com that the reason for hosting the competition in Rivers State was because they saw the world class facility when they were in Port Harcourt for the national sports festival and they thought they should bring the Africa Championships to Port Harcourt.

Meanwhile Rivers State Sports commissioner, Fred Igwe added that Rivers State is committed to sports development and will continue to leave their stadium open to further use by sporting federations.

I heard Buhari cried... For what?

General Muhammadu Buhari, former military despot

I read over the net some time before Nigeria’s presidential elections that a former military despot, Muhammadu Buhari cried on TV.

Why he cried is not my business. I simply do not care but first I must say it is a shame that an army general cried in public.

He should bury his head in shame for that.

Moving on, I want to ask- did Buhari cry to get the ever gullible Nigerian public behind him before the presidential elections? Did it help him?

Many of the internet generation Nigerians do not know Buhari and I am amazed when I hear people in debates, bars, pubs and other such public places argue and some tend to suggest that Buhari may have had a solution to Nigeria’s problems.

I still remember December 1983 when they stole power from Alhaji Shehu Shagari (who was not doing well either).

Yes I was 11 years old then and in my second year in Secondary School when it happened but having a university administrator as father ensured I was way ahead of my peers in matters like that.

I remember waking up one morning and turning the radio to my favourite station then (well, only station), Radio Rivers 2, FM 99.1 stereo but rather than here such voices like those of Mabelas Macaulay Apuloma Junior, Boma Erekosima etc, I heard a strange kind of music on the radio.

I asked why the radio only played instrumentals that morning and was told that kind of music is called, “Martial Music” but I was still as confused as ever.

“So why was martial music being played rather than other programming we were used to” and my dad told me he suspected there had just been a coup d’etat.

Of course I probed some more and was told that a coup happens when the army decide to forcefully take over power from an elected government and martial music is usually played for sometime before the coup plotters make an announcement telling the country of their mission.

It was not long before a certain Brigadier Sani Abacha’s voice was heard on the radio and we all know the story from there.

Buhari was installed as Nigeria’s Head of State with a certain Tunde Idiagbon as his deputy.

I saw on television where groups of people rejoiced at the return of the military but I was not convinced.

Then one day my parents called a family meeting and announced that certain things we were naturally used to would no longer be available for us.

Items like soap, detergent, toilet rolls, milk, sugar, eggs and wait for it, these items and many more would now be known as essential commodities.

I saw on television where Nigerians queued up to purchase these items and it made me sad even though I was still just a kid then.

I never saw my parents queue up for those things. They probably did but would have been too proud to let us see such demeaning sight.

Then Buhari’s government created a draconian decree 4 of 1984 that was there to muzzle the press and before long two fellows, Nduka Irabor and Tunde Thompson had been jailed.

Muhammadu Buhari and Tunde Idiagbon who endorsed Decree 4, used the decree to impose the most restrictive anti-press freedom laws in Nigeria.

 Decree 4 was designed to shield Buhari and his minions from being accountable to the Nigerian people. The intent of the decree was clear -- to silence opinion, speculation and even the truth.

General Muhammadu Buhari is an evil man. He is a religious fanatic and he does not love Nigeria.

His regime was the most draconian of all military administrations I knew. Sani Abacha was an angel as compared to Buhari.

General Buhari should not think we have forgotten him. Like I said when I started some of our internet generation Nigerians do not know him and they are too lazy to search online for information about him and it makes my heart bleed when people even argue that he was a disciplinarian in his days and can turn Nigeria around.

I remember him then and I know him now. Like my younger brother always says, “People don’t change, they just get older” so I will do my best to ensure that Nigerians know the kind of person you are.

And that is why when I heard you cried on television I only said, this man is lucky God said call no one a fool because I would have renamed him already.

I read recently on the web where a Nigerian posted this, “...BUHARI is a RELIGIOUS FANATIC, an IRREDENTIST, an apostle of SHARIA, a sectional TYRANT and a JIHADIST in disguise”

And we are beginning to see now the kind of person he is and what he would have plunged Nigeria into.

According to www.myondostate.com these are the reasons why the evil general should never be president of Nigeria

BUHARI is a DESPOT, A TYRANT, A MURDERER, A COUPIST, A TERRORIST, A BULLY, AN OPPORTUNIST, A HEADSTRONG AND ANTI-DEMOCRATIC DESPOTIC TYRANT.

He is a COMMON CRIMINAL and an OUTLAW and he has a case to answer for OVERTHROWING A LAWFUL AND CONSTITUTIONALLY ELECTED GOVERNMENT (Never mind Decree 1).

He is anti-Press freedom, anti-democracy and he is notorious for passing OBNOXIOUS and ARBITRARY Laws and RETROSPECTIVE Laws.

BUHARI chided, as INFIDEL, any Muslim that votes for a Christian.

BUHARI is also CORRUPT for serving under and working for the DESPOTIC, 'VISIONLESS', TYRANNICAL, BELLICOSE, UTTERLY CORRUPT AND PARIAH GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA'S WORST DICTATOR OF ALL TIMES.

HE also saw nothing wrong in working for and serving under a DESPOTIC ABACHA and his ambition to transmute to LIFE PRESIDENT.

BUHARI is yet to discharge himself from the accusations of DOUBLE-STANDARDS over the 53 SUITCASES, HIS LOPSIDED APPOINTMENTS, THE $2.5 BILLION MISSING oil money.

 GEN BUHARI also remained mute and maintained a stoic silence during the RELIGIOUS RIOTS AND CARNAGE in the country.

And before I wrap up this piece for some more important stuff, I want to add that the jury’s still out on a self proclaimed man of God called Tunde Bakare who has spent the last 15 years deceiving gullible Nigerians that he was leading them to heaven.

Now being part and parcel of the brutal death of hundreds of innocent Nigerians makes me wonder how Bakare can live with himself, look at himself in the mirror or even stand and preach in his church on a Sunday morning.

But its Nigeria; a lot of people really have no conscience.

And if anything happens to me, an accident, a fall, something bad. Just know General Muhamadu Buhari and Tunde Bakare did it. They are guilty as charged.

Nigeria's biggest April Fool joke

INEC boss, Attahiru Jega

The first day of April as we all know now has been set aside for making fools out of people and is known as April Fools’ day.

I have a story about it myself. Being born on that day  I was told that my grandfather, God bless his soul refused to turn up at the hospital thinking it was an April Fools’ joke.

As hard as they tried, he could not be convinced to go.

I remember when we were kids, our idea of April Fools’ jokes were things like- “Daddy is calling you”, “I mistakenly poured tea on your school uniform”, “I saw your WAEC result and you failed woefully”.

As we grew up, more serious April Fools’ jokes like, “The boss called and says you should pick him at the airport this noon”, “Sorry uncle, but your car was snatched from me by armed robbers at a petrol station. I was shot in the leg. I’m in the hospital now”.

When I worked as sportscaster with Silverbird’s rhythm 93.7 FM in the 2005, I played a joke on more than two million fans of Premier League side, Dolphins.

After beating Accra Hearts of OAK 4-0 in a CAF Champions League match, I announced four days later that CAF had disqualified Dolphins for fielding an unregistered player.

I searched my archives for an interview with Taiwo Ogunjobi where he said, “It’s unfortunate but we must abide by CAF’s decision”. I found another interview clip I had with Fanny Amun where he said, “That was carelessness at its highest level and I hope we have learned from our mistakes.”

Taiwo Ogunjobi was then Head of Technical Department while Fanny Amun was Secretary General and these two interviews made my story on the news look real.

A year later, the Rivers State sports commissioner was made to jump out of bed and drive straight to government house because he was told the state’s athletes who were being owed then had marched to government house, carrying placards and protesting their plight.

Just two days ago, the radio station where I now work, Cool/Wazobia FM on their morning belt announced that the first ten listeners who get to the office will be given 10,000 naira (about $64)  each.

You should have seen the crowd that turned up. A lot of them had not even taken their baths.

My ultimate April Fools gaffe however, is to invite my friends to a posh lunch to celebrate my birthday only for them to see a donkey’s poster at the venue of the lunch. I’m still planning that one.

Now I think the preamble is enough.

I have always wanted to excel in everything I do. That is why I stopped playing football in 1998 because I knew I would not have been good enough to play at the World Cup( I could have signed for Lobi Stars in the Nigerian 3^rd division then).

When I see people do something great, I have always wanted to emulate them and do it better and that is why when I deceived more than 2 million Dolphins fans with my radio program I was happy at the responses or relief and anger when they found out it was a joke.

This now brings me to a man called Professor Attahiru Jega, a learned man who most Nigerians thought was our only hope to organize credible elections.

I like the man because he is very ambitious.

He had probably studied world history on voting and elections and knew he could not get into the record books for organizing the most credible elections in the world.

He also knew he could not get into the record books for organizing the worst in the world too. At least his immediate predecessor, Maurice Iwu (I can never bring myself that low to call this one a professor) holds the everlasting record of conducting the worst elections in the history of the world. That record would surely last a lifetime.

So what did Professor, Jega do? He thought of getting into the Guinness book of records somehow, but using his platform as chairman of Nigeria’s Independent Electoral Commission, INEC the perfect idea came up.

How do I fool 70 million people? Has it ever happened before? I guess not so the plan was put in motion.

So Jega accepted the job to organize credible elections and made a budget for $585m (about eighty six billion naira) and promptly drew up a schedule.

One April 2^nd we should have elections into the Nigerian Parliament.

Voters at the Ogbum-nu-abali part of Port Harcourt

Registration of voters had been done and we had about 70 million people registered to vote.

Most of these left their homes as early as 8am on Saturday, April 2^nd for accreditation and after that hung around for voting proper to commence at noon before the intelligent professor announced that it was an April Fool’s joke.

“Guys you were all fooled. You can go back to your houses now. There will be no elections today. The materials were destroyed in Japan’s Tsunami and those that survived the Tsunami could not make it out of Libya. Let’s do this again on Monday, April 4.”

We are talking 70 million Nigerians deceived so Jega can now beat his chest and say, “I made it to the Guinness book of records.”

Having said all that, we must get down to the truth of it.

Professor, Attahiru Jega is worse that the worst of the lot.

Did we criticize, Maurice Iwu? Did we ask for his head? Why? At least he organized elections, didn’t he? Jega took our money and ran.

A comment on twitter read, “Dear Jega, how can you postpone elections that have already started?

And Jega answered in his midday speech saying, “There was nothing we could do to prevent this from happening,”

He added that "In order to maintain the integrity of the elections and retain effective overall control of the process, the commission has taken the very difficult but necessary decision to postpone the national assembly elections to Monday,"

"It is an emergency," he added.

But my question now is, “At what time did he know the materials did not arrive? Because with the size of Nigeria and difficulty in movement, it is not rocket science to know that if those materials had not arrived by day break on Friday at the latest, the elections were not going to hold because it would take at least 24 hours by any means to get materials to some parts of the country.

But our learned professor woke up on Saturday morning knowing the materials had not arrived but he allowed people come out to get accredited and he waited until midday to make that announcement.

The jury’s out on you. The verdict will be out after the elections. As it stands now you are closing in on Maurice Iwu for being “Idiot of the year” but you are also a genius in having fooled so many people.

You are a failure and the sooner you realize it the better for you.

On March 22, this year, about 11 days ago, Jega said http://thenationonlineng.net/web3/news/31518.html

And I quote him, “For INEC, I can say categorically and convincingly that we are ready for the election, the question should be, are the lawyers and politicians ready?.

Besides, he said, sensitive materials were being printed at the moment, adding that vehicles and speed boats had been acquired for distribution to riverine areas.

He said the commission was working with security agencies to ensure hitch free elections.

If our learned professor said he was ready as at 11 days ago, at what point did he become unready?

I can go on and on about the man, but would want to save cyberspace and band width.

On Monday, the donkeys would be out of their houses again voting while Attahiru Jega plays with our minds.

Weldone Jega. And like some one said, again on Twitter, “Maurice Iwu meant Wuru wuru and Jega means Jaga jaga.

Another person sang, “Nigeria jega jega, everything scatter scatter.

We hail thee professor.